There are many ideas about how to be a good parent as a Christian believer. Paul’s letter to the Ephesian church has some great principles we can follow to be like our heavenly Father when we raise our own children.
1. Acceptance and Establishment Based on Love
Ephesians 1:5,6:
[God] Having predestinated us unto the adoption [sonship] of children by Jesus Christ to himself, according to the good pleasure of his will,
To the praise of the glory of his grace, wherein he hath made us accepted in the beloved.
It is our Father’s good pleasure to have us as His children through Jesus Christ. Just as our children have legal rights from us, we have sonship rights in Christ: redemption, sanctification, justification, righteousness, a ministry to reconcile others to God. Just as children want to tell others about how wonderful their parents are [who gave them life], we can praise our Father for the glorious and gracious gift of eternal life to us. We are accepted by God as His beloved children. Acceptance and love build a safe environment where children can grow. Let’s tell our kids every day how much we love them and what an important part of our lives that they are!
2. Protection from the Devil and Evil Spiritual Forces in the World
Ephesians 2:2,3:
Wherein in time past ye walked according to the course of this world, according to the prince of the power of the air, the spirit that now worketh in the children of disobedience:
Among whom also we all had our conversation in times past in the lusts of our flesh, fulfilling the desires of the flesh and of the mind; and were by nature the children of wrath, even as others.
The Devil sets up his “courses” in this world to get people to disobey God’s loving commands. All of us were trapped in this worldly maze before we were born again of God’s spirit [Romans 10:9,10]. Satan uses our fleshly desires to get us out of balance in our daily walk. As “natural” men and women [those who don’t listen and obey God], many people are destined for future “wrath” where they are absent from the Lord throughout eternity. We want to protect our children from these worldly influences, including digital, social, and doctrinal lies on the internet or their very own smartphone. Guiding our children’s friendships is also an important way to protect them from devilish influences. We are watchmen and stewards of God’s great gift and responsibility: the care of our children.
3. Truth and Honesty in Dealing with Life’s Challenges
Ephesians 4:14,15:
That we henceforth be no more children, tossed to and fro, and carried about with every wind of doctrine, by the sleight of men, and cunning craftiness, whereby they lie in wait to deceive;
But speaking the truth in love, may grow up into him in all things, which is the head, even Christ.
Little children can be naïve and innocent of evil, and therefore easily manipulated and trapped by unscrupulous and demon-possessed people. Child trafficking is at an alarming high, especially in the United States. We must have age-appropriate, open and honest discussions with our children about the “the sleight of men, and cunning craftiness” all around them. We don’t need to feel helpless or afraid, especially when we proactively address each devilish attack that tries to wedge its way into our families. Speak the truth in love: all three are necessary. Speak to your children every day to see where their little hearts are at. Don’t just have empty content when you talk; get a good dose of practical truth from the scriptures and common-sense life lessons. And always do it in love—that’s what opens your child’s heart to your wise counsel and instruction.
4. Setting a Godly Example for Children to Imitate
Ephesians 5:1,2:
Be ye therefore followers [imitators] of God, as dear children;
And walk in love, as Christ also hath loved us, and hath given himself for us an offering and a sacrifice to God for a sweetsmelling savour.
God designed children to imitate their parents. That’s how they learn. Just like a puppy learning to run or a young bird learning to fly. They imitate their parents. We want to set the best example we can for our dearly beloved children. When we walk as Christ does [especially showing our kids how a Christian husband cares for his wife as Christ cared for the church; or how a Christian wife submits to her husband the way the church follows Christ] with such great love, our children will learn how to be their best in life.
5. Teaching God’s Light-Giving Word to Overcome Vain and Dark Words that Deceive
Ephesians 5:6-9:
Let no man deceive you with vain words: for because of these things cometh the wrath of God upon the children of disobedience.
Be not ye therefore partakers [fully sharing] with them.
For ye were sometimes darkness, but now are ye light in the Lord: walk as children of light:
(For the fruit of the…[light] is in all goodness and righteousness and truth).
After providing a safe environment, protecting them from evil spirit attacks, overcoming challenges with honesty, and setting a Christlike example—we need to carry out perhaps our greatest parental responsibility. We teach our children the “fear of the Lord” and “the wisdom from above.” Daily doses of Bible teaching coupled with practical ways of living the Word are vital to a child’s good spiritual health. That includes memorizing scriptures and having an action plan to carry them out. They do this at work, play, family time, and even in those rare “alone” times that kids have today. Then they can walk and shine as children of light. And they will produce good, righteous, and true fruit that all can see and admire.
6. Requiring Obedience So Your Children Will Respect You and Be Blessed
Ephesians 6:1-3:
Children, obey your parents in the Lord: for this is right.
Honour thy father and mother; (which is the first commandment with promise;)
That it may be well with thee, and thou mayest live long on the earth.
This is often the first truth parents teach their children. They are to listen, remember, and obey. As they learn to obey us, our children can later learn to listen to the Father’s still small voice when they are born again. This obedience is the first of the ten commandments with a promise attached—long life! Our children’s “well-ness” will be in proportion to their obedience to God.
7. Nurturing and Warning Your Children the Way Jesus Cares for Us: Never Provoke Them to Anger
Ephesians 6:4:
And, ye fathers [parents], provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition [warning] of the Lord.
We want our children to learn to serve the Lord Jesus Christ. Yet, often personality issues arise and children can get “mad” at Mom or Dad. We want to be forgiving, kind, patient, and loving in every way with our kids. And we want to “head off” such problems by nurturing them with loving instruction coupled with ample warnings about spiritual and physical danger. As we teach them to walk by the spirit of “Christ in” them, they will grow up in the Lord’s nurture and admonition. We can accomplish no greater feat in life as parents.
